XFL Returns: Former New York Giants we would love to see in the XFL
By Sean Dyer
Jared Lorenzen
The Hefty Lefty. The Pillsbury Throw Boy. And now, He Ate Me.
Jared Lorenzen NEEDS to be in the XFL. Even he knows it. It didn’t take long before he took to Twitter to announce his interest and claim possibly one of the greatest nicknames of all-time.
Well well well, how are you doing over there @VinceMcMahon and @alphaentllc? I see you may be looking for some athletes. I got ya. May be I do have 1 more comeback left me. #HeAteMe
— jared lorenzen (@JaredLorenzen22) January 25, 2018
Lorenzen spent three seasons as the New York Giants backup quarterback from 2005-2007. He only appeared in four games and his career NFL stats are 4-for-8 for 28 yards with one rushing attempt for two yards.
However, Lorenzen then joined the Northern Kentucky River Monsters of the Ultimate Indoor Football League (everyone’s favorite team) and won league MVP in 2011.
Lorenzen became famous for his highlights with the River Monsters as he had run his weight up well over 300 lb. but continued balling. Currently, Lorenzen weighs 500 lb. and is fighting obesity.
He Ate Me would have two years to get down to around 300 lb. to be able to play in the XFL and boy would that be entertaining. Lorenzen is a character and he can ball. He threw 81 touchdowns in a 14-game season with the River Monsters … no that’s not a typo.
Lorenzo could have the fewest career NFL passing yards for a player with so many highlight tapes on YouTube.
Get this man in the XFL. Not just for New York Giants fans, but for America.